Buzz-Kill of the Week: I'm Sleepy, Liars, Disrespectful People, Back Up Off Me, and I'm a DIVA

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Say What?! "Quote of the Week" -- The Notorious B.I.G. Double Whammy

What up, Paper Chasers, it's ya gurl LoudPen with this week's, Say What?! "Quote of the Week" which features a double whammy from the Notorious B.I.G. For those who don't know, today, March 9, 2010 marks the thirteenth anniversary of Biggie's death. Christopher "Biggie Smalls" Wallace was born on May 21, 1972 and he was shot and killed at the age of twenty-five on March 9th. Biggie is a rapper, best known for his amazing delivery, storytelling, and his overall swagger and confidence.

The Notorious B.I.G., began rapping as a teenager and gained exposure by being featured in The Source magazine's Unsigned Hype column. After being heard by Sean "Puffy" Combs, Biggie was signed to Uptown records who Puffy was working for at the time. However, Puffy was fired from Uptown and in turn started Bad Boy records and this is where 90s NY Hip-hop became the legend that it is (IMO). I know there are quite a few people who don't like Biggie for reasons such as the violent imagery he rapped about, his many affairs with women, his drug dealing, and let's just be real...his looks. Let's face it Biggie was a big Black man with Jamaican roots who not only sold drugs but who also rapped about selling drugs.

Basically, Biggie made a career and a very rich lifestyle off of drugs. To some people, this is a major negative and to them, we shouldn't talk about rappers like Biggie but rather we should let them be forgotten. To these people, Biggie is what is "wrong" in Hip-hop and pop culture. To these people, Biggie glorified a life of violence, drug dealing, and misogynstic values. To these people, I say, that is almost true. I think that Biggie definitely discussed all of the above but I am not sure if I would say that he glorified it. I mean if you really take the time to listen to Biggie, he doesn't sound very happy. Especially on the Ready 2 Die album.

I mean from that album (Ready 2 Die) you have an eclectic mix of tracks. The album begins with the intro which is a reenactment of Biggie's birth and the relationship between his parents. I love the intro because it illustrates the chaos that Biggie was born into. His parents are fighting and there is loud noise in the background and all of a sudden, you hear the sound of a baby cry and more chaos ensues. Then the album continues with, "Things Done Changed" where Biggie discusses the fact that children have become more unruly, parents are on drugs, and the neighborhood is falling apart. In this song, Biggie is more of a narrator than a participator.

On the third song, "Gimmie the Loot", Biggie becomes a participant in the drug dealing and violence. This is where you see a major transition on the album. At first, Biggie was watching his neighborhood fall apart and then ironically he becomes a participant. But is that because he wanted to or because he felt he had to? I believe that this question is a personal one for you to answer. But, I will say that this is why I love Biggie and will always remember him. In my opinion, Biggie wasn't an artist that could be defined or pigeoned holed. He had many different facets and if you take a closer look and listen, you will see it.

The songs I have chosen for today's, Say What?! are "Respect" and "Gimmie the Loot" which are both on the Ready 2 Die album. These are two of my favorite songs by Biggie and each record represents a different part of Biggie. On "Respect" he is discussing his life, where he has been and where he may go. Also the reggae sample is seriously sick. On "Gimmie the Loot", Biggie describes how he robs people. This song is one of Biggie's most violent but ironically it is one of his most beautiful tracks as far as storytelling. Biggie's storytelling skills are so sick on this track that you feel a mixture of Biggie's anger & aggression, fear, and shock. After listening to this song, you either want to rob someone or you pray that you are never robbed. Again, Biggie's visuals are so real, it feels like you are there. But, let me stop myself now because I can go on about him forever.

And there it is. This is the Pen making you say, Say What?!

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The Pen Has Spoken...Staying Positive and Keeping the Pen LOUD!!!

What up, Paper Chasers, it's ya gurl LoudPen with this week's, The Pen Has Spoken which is about Staying Positive and Keeping the Pen LOUD! This weekend was somewhat drab and I even had to work on Saturday:( Needless to say, I did have a bit of a 'tude for parts of the weekend. However, last night's Oscars were fun to watch and I enjoyed live tweeting during the event.

Honestly, I've always been a person fascinated by award shows and I have a weird fixation with the Red Carpet. And with the invention of Twitter, I can share this appreciation with others while the event is on TV. However, this post is not about the Oscars as I promised @TheKiaXperience I wouldn't write a copy cat blog post.

This post is about me letting go of bullshit by staying positive and keeping the pen LOUD. Last week was full of dissapointments and missed opportunities but this week won't be like that. I may have some foolishness pop off and people may get on my nerves but I am determined to stay positive. I came to this realization this morning and so far it has been working. I brought my favorite Louis bag to work, applied my fave red lip gloss with a touch of goldish brown shimmer gloss to top it off, and I've been trying to tweet positivity. Yup, I'm rinsing out all the BS and making sure that Pen continues to go BOOM!

Despite my chronic brokeness, stressful job, and loveless love life, I am determined to stay #positive. Yup, they can't keep a sista down forever. The end has got to be near, if not, I'm writing Jesus a letter ASAP. Yea, I got some bones to pick with him about cleaning my house anyways. He keeps playing games when it comes to cleaning the crib and I have no more time for games. Anywho, that is totally unrelated. Sorry, for those who don't follow me on Twitter, you should know that I like to write letters to Jesus on the regular. I mean #comeonson folks used to wear "Jesus is my Homeboy" t-shirts, why not write him letters with personal requests? Alright, let me stop being silly and end this post.

And there it is. The Pen Has Spoken.

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The Musings of a Pen: "All I Have" By Jennifer Lopez feat. LL Cool J and "This Bird" By Solange

What up, Paper Chasers, it's ya gurl LoudPen with this week's, Musings, which features the song, "All I Have" by Jennifer Lopez feat. LL Cool J and "This Bird" by Solange. First off, let me make some announcements. This will be last post for the LL series, so I hope you have enjoyed it. Second, J. Lo is that bish. I'm sorry but she is pure fabulosity in this song and video. Third, this week's, Musings is a poem based on both songs featured. That is all.

So Close Yet So Far

One minute you are right there
The next minute you are gone
Unsure of what to say
I don't do anything

I feel boxed in
Can't spread my wings
I want to soar the night away
Like Solange...in my high heeled shoes
Or this bird*

Sometimes I wish
I was
Somewhere else
With a little more
Money
Time
Energy
Love

Maybe I'll reach out
Maybe I won't
Do you even want me to?
You don't act like it.
I guess they are more fun
girls, parties, events

Why am I even writing this?
It's just another poem.
Full of abstractness
Does it even connect?
Am I sick, sad, angry, tired?
Maybe all of the above.

And there it is. This is the Pen and these are my Musings.

*Disclaimer: This poem quotes & references "This Bird" by Solange Knowles. The song is also posted below.*

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Buzz-Kill of the Week: Video Posts, Help Wanted, My Broke & Pointless Life, and Grad School REJECTION

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Say What?! "Quote of the Week" -- Doin It by LL Cool J feat. Leshaun

What up, Paper Chasers, it's ya gurl LoudPen with this week's, Say What?! "Quote of the Week" which is Doin It by LL Cool J feat. Leshaun. I'm sure most of you remember this track as it is definitely a 90s classic. I remember rapping along to the lyrics and wanting to be from Brooklyn or Queens so I could rep those spots like they do in the song. And it's funny how life works because now that I actually live in New York, I know the city fairly well and I wouldn't be caught dead in Brooklyn or Queens. I mean I work in Brooklyn and that is the only time I step foot in Brooklyn.

Anywho, LL definitely spits Lyrics of Fury in this track and Leshaun was an excellent pick to collab with. Leshaun reps for women in the song and her LL make an interesting team. They both spit with a smooth, well polished delivery. Although, the concept of the song and it's title are very suggestive, one has to admit that the song could be both a groove track and a dance track. It's uptempo beat make you want to dance even though the lyrics clearly talk about "doin it" or having sex.

Overall, this song is one of my fave LL jams. It's LL at his best and again, the feature with Leshaun was definitely a good look. Ok, I'm running out of things to say.

And there it is. This is the Pen making you say, Say What?!

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The Pen Has Spoken...Man, I Wish Someone Would Come Ink My Page...

What up, Paper Chasers, it's ya gurl LoudPen with this week's, The Pen Has Spoken. First off, Paper Chasers, you read the title of today's post correctly...yes, I would like someone to come ink my page. There...I said it. Now some of my nasty Paper Chasers have certain explicit thoughts running through their minds but I'm here to tell y'all it ain't like that.

Today or this month rather, I am consumed with work. My job is hosting a huge national event at the end of the month so it's crunch time. On top of this, I still may need to get a PT job until I can find a higher paying full time job. Overall, life is consumed with work so I have no energy left for this here b-log. Meaning, I need someone to write down my thoughts and write the posts for the blog and then post them to the blog. Basically, I need an assistant. You know someone to ink my page.

If someone were here to ink my page, then I wouldn't be sitting here writing this post...I'd be eating the taco salad I have in the fridge. So you see Paper Chasers, I need an assistant stat. Also, I will need this person to cook and clean my house. These are other tasks that my assistant could complete so that I can more time to myself. Maybe I don't want an assistant just someone to be LoudPen. Yes, I need a LoudPen II. I think that would be fab. Ok so, I'm hungry and this post ain't about shit for real.

And there it is. The Pen Has Spoken.

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Video Hot Pick of the Week: "Hey Lover" By LL Cool J feat. Boyz II Men

What up, Paper Chasers, it's ya gurl LoudPen with this week's, Video Hot Pick which is "Hey Lover" by LL Cool J feat. Boyz II Men. Everything about this video is absolute fabulosity. The video visually interprets every lyric of the song so when watching the video, you feel like you are watching the lyrics of the song unfold. LL was so smooth and he really knew how to be hard with just a touch of sensitivity. I'm positive that when this song first dropped every chick wanted to be LL's crush.

Also, adding Boyz II Men to the track gave it that RnB flava. Boyz II Men was also a force to be reckoned with at this time so the collaboration was epic on so many levels. The video reminds me of 90s fashions such as dark shades, Timberland boots, jerseys, backpack purses (peep the video love interest wearing a pink teddy bear backpack purse), and finally the one pant leg up that LL made famous.

And there it is. Turn off the lights and watch the page move.

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At One Point This Was In Style. Seriously, It Was: LL Cool J

What up Paper Chasers, it's ya gurl LoudPen with this week's, At One Point. First off, I am sorry that I haven't posted one of these in awhile but I've been trying to take breaks. Anywho, this week's, At One Point is the LPE's currently profiled artist, LL Cool J. LL definitely had his grip on both Hip-hop music and fashion in the 80s and the 90s. From being the "tall light skinned brother with dimples, Black kangol hat, and sneakers" to his muscle bound sexiness of the 90s.

I am posting pics of LL Cool J from both the 80s and the 90s to demonstrate his timeless swag and fashion sense. From the young man he was in the 80s with his sweat suits and gold chains, to the hardcore muscle man he was in the 90s. My fave pics are the one when he is standing in front of his name written on a wall in graffiti and the one with the gold plated ring that said "Cool J".

And there it is. This is the Pen letting you know, At One Point This Was In Style. Seriously, it was...LL Cool J.

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The Musings of a Pen..."I Need Love" by LL Cool J

What up, Paper Chasers, it's ya gurl LoudPen with this week's, Musings, which is "I Need Love" by LL Cool J. I don't have anything to say today so I'm going to let LL speak for me.

And there it is. This is Pen and these are my Musings.

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Buzz-Kill of the Week: February 24, 2010, My Fall, and Mornings

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Say What?! "Quote of the Week" -- I'm BAD by LL Cool J

What up, Paper Chasers, it's ya gurl LoudPen with this week's, Say What?! "Quote of the Week" which is I'm BAD by LL Cool J. As I alluded to yesterday when I said I would profile one of the pioneers of Hip-hop, I am now going to be doing a series on the badness that is LL Cool J. Ladies Love Cool James was definitely a force to be reckoned with in the 80s and the 90s.

In the 80s, he started off as an ill MC a.k.a. Cool James. It wasn't until the 90s that he added the "Ladies Love" part to "Cool James"; Ladies Love Cool James then became LL Cool J for short and LL soldified himself as an MC and a ladies man. Essentially, LL represents two people depending on what era you know him from. Some people remember LL as the "light-skinned brother with dimples, wearing a black kangol hat, gold chain and sneakers" however others remember him rapping, "I would hold ya in my arms and ease your fears, I can't believe it, I ain't had a crush in years." That's the thing I love about LL his music is truly timeless.

In the song, "I'm BAD" LL literally raps about how he's a sick MC. The song is very simple in its initial concept; it is simply about LL bragging about his MCing skills. However, LL's performance and delivery are the things that draw you in. Every MC has a different approach to rhyming. Some MCs use crazy metaphors like Rakim, some rely on wordplay like Jay, or like Biggie their all about telling a story.

LL was the MC that could put on a show. Watching LL perform in the video for "I'm BAD" is full blown entertainment. The way he moves and raps each line, he has so much energy and emotion. And as a female, I must point my appreciation for LL's good looks and killer charm. He really had a swag that is like none other. I mean rappers just don't do it like LL anymore. I know things are supposed to change but they are also supposed to evolve and improve on the old way. MCs like LL didn't talk about how many women they had, or people they shot, they just rhymed and they did it because they loved and appreciated the art of rhyming and MCing.

And there it is. This is the Pen making you say, Say What?!

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The Pen Has Spoken...Another Oldie But A Goodie..."Now That I Am A Brand There Goes My Life"

What up Paper Chasers, it's ya gurl LoudPen here with this week's The Pen Has Spoken which is an oldie but a goodie called: "Now That I Am I Brand There Goes My Life." This was an excellent post that outlined some of the issues that arise when you are a personal Blogger. I hope you enjoy it and stay tuned for tomorrow's kick-off of a new series on one of the heavyweights of early Hip-hop.


Hey Paper Chasers, it feels good to be back. I had to take a break from the blog so I didn't post on Saturday or Sunday. Blame it on QuietPen cause she told me you wouldn't mind. Ok, now that we have that out of the way, let me move onto today's post which is dedicated to personal branding, specifically, my personal brand. If you didn't know, LoudPen is my brand. I'm still figuring out where I want to go with the LoudPen thing, but, I know that I'm headed in the right direction.

Originally, I came up with the name LoudPen for a manuscript that I am working on. I started calling myself LoudPen as a means to free myself from my government name, so I could be completely honest & just let go. The name LoudPen came from my loud mouth & love for pens. Then as I got more into the manuscript, the writing just started to flow. After I graduated from college, in May of 2008, my friend suggested I start a blog as a means to get my writing out to a broader audience. Being a naive blogger, I thought the masses would come simply because, I had a blog that was online.

Over the next few months, I learned more about blogging and the blog slowly started to grow. In fact it is still in the growing faze. However, upon googling myself, I realized that I'm starting to leave my mark online. That is both a good & bad thing. It is a good thing, because, I am easy to find & accessible...this is also the bad thing. I want to be found so that people can visit my blog & find out what LoudPen is talking about. However, my privacy is now obsolete. If you look hard enough, you can literally find out every thing about me just by searching LoudPen.

I mean I found Twitter conversations from months ago, links to my real name because the blog used to be linked to my LinkedIn page, and I found what other websites I'm linked to. It was so weird. I mean, if someone wanted to they could find out every emotion, thought, feeling, where I live, just by googling me. That is so creepy. I don't think I'm going to google myself for awhile...it was too weird. Also, now that I'm starting to meet people from the online world in real life, I can't discuss or talk about my interactions with them because, they will find out. If they don't find out on Twitter, they can read it on my blog, or on some other blog if I leave a comment referencing them. This kinda bothers me because Twitter used to be my place to rant & now I can't do that because they might be following me or someone they know might be following me. Guess, I'll have start keeping a journal again. (which I have done BTW)

Basically, I love being LoudPen, because, she's my alter ego, but, there goes my life. I am now chained to the online world. I've left a mark that can be deemed both positive & negative. In essence, I might as well get used to the lack of privacy & people thinking they know me because they've read a blog post or tweet of mine. I'm not upset about the mark I've left, because, I believe everything happens for a reason. Also I am not going to start censoring myself just because someone might find out. I plan to keep being me & writing with my LoudPen.

And there it is. The Pen Has Spoken.

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Music In Our Everyday lives (Guest Post) by Mo_Rease

What up Paper Chasers, it’s ya gurl LoudPen introducing a guest post by my boy, @Mo_Rease. Reasy is a Blogger, writer, and poet and it is his poetry that is my all time favorite. Last week, I asked him to write a guest post and he happily obliged and ended up writing one of the sickest poems, I’ve ever read. However, I must note that I believe that Mo drew his inspiration for this poem from my blog, our twitter & BBM conversations, and his own personal experiences. You’ll understand that statement once you read the poem. Remember to follow Reasy on Twitter @Mo_Rease and his blog, Stumblings & Rumblings: http://threefoureighty.clipz-status.com/

Music In Our Everyday Lives

When I hear the words that you speak, sounds like I’m hearing my soul inspiration. Shades of when I hear Anita Baker sing, want to reach and together bring forth a new creation

Now you’re singing You Mean the World to Me and we started at slight flirtation. Watching you apply that red lipstick, something rises inside sorta like a Temptation. David Ruffin sounds fills the airwaves as we dance away today’s frustrations.

So let’s take a drink for love and hope that we never split apart I thought it was all a dream when Tamia said that you put a move on my heart. Can’t get enough of you and those sexy stares as your clothes slowly depart

There’s a stranger in house because I’m officially missing you and don’t want to restart. Her eyes read is this the way you love me. Underneath this passion I feel mad loyal. As I watch her hips, thighs and soul sway to the beat as I sip my Crown Royal

After the long walk in the park, she sings he loves me as I rub her body with the oil. She knows that my love is deeper tighter but he is her victor to which she spoils. I wanted her to share my world because to me she was my beautiful one

Soon as I got home, I was right back where I started again with her love on the run. So instead of feeling the hurt, I removed the shades and became blind under the sun

And suffer in my loneliness because LoudPen shot me with Mama’s Gun

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The Musings of a Pen...I Still Love You by Next

What up Paper Chasers, it's ya gurl LoudPen with this week's, Musings which is based off of the song, "I Still Love You" by Next. Paper Chasers, I don't know about y'all but there's no feeling like not being over that certain somebody. This song is in the context of a couple that just had an argument and the guy (Next) is apologizing to his girl and telling her that he still loves her regardless of their fights. For the purpose of this post, I'm going to flip this one like I did with that Toni B "Love Shoulda Brought You Home" post.

Now, like I was saying, there is nothing like not being over "the one that got away". Friends and family lecture you and tell you to let them go but in the back of your mind, you are planning how you can initiate communication with them again. Also, you can't stop yourself from remembering the good times, their smile, the places you guys used to go, and how much they made you laugh. Additionally, you have conflicting emotions because you are simultaneously remembering how they hurt you in the first place. Plus, you are racking your brain trying to figure out what you did wrong.

It's a crazy thing...this thing called love...but it's even worse to try to get over it. I don't really know what love is but I remember a friend mine writing a poem about what love is not. Maybe people should start going by what love is not instead of what it is. Why? Because, if you would've defined the things that love is not you wouldn't be in this position...the horrible task of trying to forget the person you thought was your world and move on with your life. I swear I don't wish that mess on anyone. I really don't.

Songs like "I Still Love You" sound so nice. This is the type of song that that makes everything seem so simple. Just kiss and make up and tell them you still love them and all will be well in the world. But is it really that easy? Is there some type of band-aid to cover your bruised heart? Last time I checked there wasn't. So what do you do? I don't know, Paper Chasers, I just don't know. I'm no expert on this thing called love, as I said I don't even know what it is or if I've ever felt it. I've come close but I didn't really get there. I'm sorry I can't offer more of a solution but I'm just sitting here with my pen...wondering aloud. *sighs*

And there it is. This is the Pen and these are my Musings.

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